Vacilando

"Vacilando," is Spanish for the act of wandering when the experience of travel is more important than reaching the specific destination.

In all my travels, hikes, and adventures I have always had a set goal or a specific destination, something in some way that has put pressure on me to get to a certain place or accomplish a set goal, and if I did not do that then in my eyes I would have failed. I have never set out in the wild, short of day climbing and hiking trips, and let the wind just take me, let my plans and goals vanish. I have always been a prisoner to a goal or a destination, like getting to Canada on the PCT, it did not matter that in 2011, I hiked over 2,300 miles; I did not get to Canada, so I failed. And in 2012, I set out to thru hiked the PCT, starting at the Mexican border again and though I made it to Canada, most days were filled with just trying to reach Canada. Sadly, I have to admit, this pressure did have a negative toll on my days along the PCT, I was after the destination and not so much the journey.
A wise guy who has been helping me with my trek from Artic, Alaska to Terra de Fuego, Argetina, emailed me a few days ago after I emailed him asking for help on planning certain routes for this trip, he told me to let the wind take me, embrace total freedom and be a "vacilando." Of course in some places such as Alaska, the Yukon and the Andes I do need a set route, but he made me realize that for a big chunk of this muitlple year trek, I should throw out specific destinations and goals and just go with it. This is a frightening idea for me, I fear a million things could go wrong if I don't have every inch of the route planned, I mean I am walking over 20,000 miles, don't I need everything planned and figured out? Or can that be a part of the journey, part of the beauty that will encompass this trek?

This summer I will do just that, I will go out into the wild and wander with no destination or goal, soley just for the experience and beauty, when I want to stop or camp, I will, I will not push miles and miles like I have every summer for the past years. I will soak up the sun, ski couloirs, enjoy long warm days with Nanuk, my best friend, I will have no goal this entire summer other than to climb and backpack as much as possible, to enjoy every day I spend outside to listen more, to watch more and to write more. I will enjoy the experience of the moutains and let go of plans, destinations or expectations.

For now, because I am not leaving in April for a big hike, I will enjoy summer in a very different way. It does feel strange, mostly sad that I have no multi 1000 mile trek planned, but my time will come again soon. Who knows this could be the best summer of all??