Hike your own Hike

Hike your own hike, is phrase well known in the thru hiking world, it means simply what it says, but it also applies to life back home. I am struggling everyday with the fact that I did not complete the PCT, I feel like a failure.I mean sure, I went through the Sierras in a history breaking snow year, climbed Mt. Whitney and hiked 2,316 miles, but I did not get to the end, I did not get to Canada, which was my goal. This sense of failure for me has only inspired me and forced me to desire more treks, more time in the wild.I have grown as a person due to the decision I made to stop hiking the PCT. I stopped hiking becasue mother nature said so, her power is greater than I will ever be and I can't beat it, so I have to respect it and I do. When I thru hiked the Colorado Trail the first time I barely made it 100 miles, then the next summer, summer of 2008 I completed a successful thru hike on the Colorado Trail, with my best friend, Nanuk dog. Again, in the summer of 2009 I reached out for the challenge of the Colorado Trail and completed a second thru hike, it was there along the Colorado Trail in 2009,that my desires for long distant treks and challenge grew ammensly. Thats what lead me to the PCT, thats what continues to sustain my desires for setting goals and going after them.

Though I came 348 miles from Canada, I learned so much on the PCT:

1) Hike your own Hike on and off the Trail
2) Make sure the people you love know it
3) Never give up
4) Experiences are what you make of them
5) Sometimes having courage means making the hardest decision
6) You must always respect mother nature and never forget to be humbled by her beauty and power
7) Most people in the world are great
8) Happiness is only true when you have someone to share it with

My hike on the PCT did not go how I planned, I did not give up, or quit, I was stopped by a force much bigger than me and so I am coming to terms with it, I think anyways. I miss the Trail and will set out to re hike the entire Trail next summer after I hike the Hayduke Trail.

Whats Next

Being home, has both a bitter and a sweet feeling to it. I miss the Trail everday and I miss the moments that are now long gone, moments of true peace, beauty and happiness. I miss feeling content and strong. I have thru hiked the Colorado Trail twice and hiked 2,316 miles of the PCT in a history breaking snow year. I have climbed a countless number or peaks and spend months and months of my life wandering wild places;I intend on making that a lifestyle for myself. For now I am working and waiting for winter to fully get under way up here in the Colorado Rockies,so I can ski and ice climb. I am still looking for a place to live, but nothing seems to be coming up. I am okay with spending winter in a tent and spending occasional bitter cold nights in family or friends places, but I have a dog and I need to make sure she is taken care of, so I will contiune to seek out a place to live.

In March, I am leaving to thru hike the Hayduke, 816 miles from Zion to Arches National Park, I will then redo the entire PCT or put together another long distant route or trail of my own.

I am working on putting together a trek from Alaska to Patagonia, and reaching out to companies in order to gain support for this trek. I can only imagine this trek in my wildest of dreams, but I have been dreaming of it for over a year and a half now and I know from past accompolishments that I can do whatever I put my mind to.

Being back in "normal life" is depressing, I am such a different person and I feel like I am once again in a place that I don't belong in, life back home is filled with so many distractions that pull one away from the true meaning of themselves and in many ways it suffocates the desire to get out and wander. Normal life is not conducive to living on a trail for months at a time, it does not allow for simplicity. The idea of leaving and going out to wander to most is silly and useless, I feel sad for people who think that. I am a lucky girl who has had most every advantage in life and I am fortunate to have had the support I have. I just feel so strongly that after my hike on the PCT, that it is vital that I stay true to myself and live the life I have always wanted.

I am excited for the winter though, because I get to improve my ice climbing skills and I get to enjoy days of riding powder, those days are almost just as good as being out on a Trail and I know soon I can return to Trail life.