Nanuk and I have been staying in Silverton at the hostel in town for the last few days, it has been both fun and difficult, fun because I get to hangout with my best friend, Nanuk all day and go explore the San Juans, but difficult because places like Silverton run on a very different pace than most other places in the world, it is slow and I am bored because I am not used to the slow quiet pace that echoes here, I became used to occupying my mind from boredom during my thru hikes on the Pacific Crest Trail, after all hiking over 2,670 miles forces you to be in your own head and to learn to deal with mental boredom, but I am still not very good at it :)
Silverton is an old mining town, tucked away from pretty much everywhere, it is a bit over an hour to Durango, Ouray is over red pass an hour away and Telluride is 2 hours away! I fell in love with Silverton back in 2008, during my thru hike on the Colorado Trail, it is an attractive place to me because of the simple, quiet and slow lifestyle here. I have had to come to terms with the fact that Nanuk is aging during the last week, she can no longer come along on great adventures, long hikes, big climbs or hard days, she sleeps almost all day, unless I wake her up and take her outside, she snores like crazy, she sits more often and lies down during walks, she limps when she walks, she runs into things, she gets confused sometimes and her vision is now fading. I have been in denial about this for some time now, thinking I could keep bringing her on grand adventures and that she would be okay, because she has always followed me, she has climbed over 200 peaks with me, she has hiked over 3000 miles with me and now, she is a different dog, in a different time and it saddens me. For those who know me, they know how I can't sit still, how I define myself by the grand adventures and now to have my adventure partner growing old and slowing down it is very difficult.
We have been going on shorter hikes, day climbing trips and exploring old ghost mining towns near Silverton, like Eureka. Outside of Silverton,there are tons of mining ruins,old cabins, and memories of life that once occupied the mountains here. I wonder how life was here 100 years ago? I wonder what those people could have taught me and what their stories were, who they were. I can only imagine how amazing the mountains were back then, how untouched they were and what it must have looked like. I wonder what life was like back then? It must have been much harder than life today! Nanuk and I went up to Stony Pass today, up to the Colorado Trail, we hiked around, she played in the creek and rolled in everything she could, we walked around town and we drove to Eureka and hung out in the ghost town for a bit. I feel like I am struggling to keep going, I hate the fact that I have no big hike or adventure, it is hard for me and even harder to explain the emptiness I have. However, this summer was always going to be for Nanuk and I. It was going to be a summer at a slower pace, with no goals other than to enjoy eachothers company and to spend as much time as we could together in the mountains. I love Nanuk with all of my heart, she has been my best friend since she was 8 weeks old, I have shared my life with her, she has followed me on all of my grand trips, she has nuzzled me when I have been sad, she has been a mirror for me- allowing and helping me grow and better myself, she has been there for me during everything and my love for her is endless.
I am conflicted though, it is beyond hard for me to slow down, to put off things I want to do, to hang with her at her speed. It is a challenge for me, but maybe it is a good thing to slow down, to veg out and to see life in a different light? I remember the night I first held her, and I have never stop loving her, I have spent a lot of time away from her, I have been selfish sometimes and refused to play with her because life has busy or whatnot, I have yelled at her for doing bad things, but she still loves me and she has not run away :) I have done my best for her and I will until her final day, I know in my heart that I am now writing her final chapter of her life with her, that I will be the one who writes the end of her story, as much as it is bittersweet and as much as it is difficult for me to slow down, maybe this is her greatest lesson for me.
