Hayduke's Honor

It has been a year since that wonderful day when I rescued my Hayduke, it has been a wild and crazy year since that day. I have always stood by the fact that Hayduke gave me the courage to love and to heal. I haven't really sat and thought about what that all actually meant until the last few days. I have struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life.  I have had periods of time when my depression and anxiety seem to not exist, but they really do. Then I have also had times in my life when that is my whole life, I spend days miserable, sad, and hopeless. To be honest, the majority of my days since losing Hayduke have been spent in a deep depression. There are days when I cry for hours, I miss him so much, I would give anything to kiss his nose, wrap my arms around his soft neck and tell him about my day. For some reason unknown to me, he stole my heart and losing him was one of the hardest most painful things that has ever happened in my life. I think one of the reasons it hurt so much was that he was a symbol of hope to me and all of sudden when I lost him, apart of me, of my idea of hope died to.  His death left me wondering why? Why if you love something so much and try so hard, why do they leave? I still feel him here sometimes, I feel his heart and spirit and in some ways that is the only thing that has kept me going. Depression is like being stuck alone in a dark closet, you know there is a door to a different world, but no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to find the courage to open it. It is a lonely and painful thing. It is something you try so hard to hide from others because you don't want to appear weak. It becomes a secret and then eventually it swallows you. I have spent many hours contemplating what Haydukes impact was on my life, how I heal from losing him, how I heal from other bad events in my life and how I can honor his story, how I can honor his heart. I recently met this guy, who is great beyond words. He makes me want to be a better person. He makes me smile and laugh like I am little girl. He has also brought out truths about me that I have always known, but refused to explore. However, it could have come at a better point in my life. It is time for me to honor Haydukes impact and allow myself to heal and become who I have always wanted to be. It will be a process and it will take time, but it is time. I will always have depression, but I have to find a way out of that closet, a way to open that closest done and walk out no matter how painful it is. There are times in life that having a heart sucks, but in the end it also a wonderful thing. My heart opened to rescue Hayduke and even though he is gone, his impact on my life was a true gift, a story that will always remain in my heart. A story and time in my life that showed me magic. I am so humbled and grateful that he came into my life.  I owe so much to that damn horse- I can see him smiling down on me, waiting for me to honor what he was and what he has done for my life. Thank you Hayduke for what you left behind!!

The courage to heal

I have not written in a long time, mostly because I have been struggling with the decision I made to leave South America and return to the States and I have been working on putting my life back together, whatever that means. I decided to come home from South America because it simply wasn't the right time for me to be there. There is an entire list of reasons why I came home, some I will chose to freely talk about and others will remain only known to me. Among one of the biggest factors in my decision to come home was that I felt like I was giving up on a cause that I hold very dear to my heart, a cause I did not ask to be apart of, I know now that it chose me. That cause is the advocacy work with the Havasupai animals. My journey with this work has lead me into the depths of myself, it has made me cry more than I ever thought possible, it has made me smile and it has allowed me to learn so much about myself and about the wonders of love. I remember being in Tierra Del Fuego, one of the most beautiful places on earth, yet feeling extremely empty, sad and like there was something missing. I was right, there was. I had unfinished business with the Havasupai animals. It pays to listen to your heart, no matter how hard it is or what you fear will come from it. Sometimes that's all we have, is our heart. I was scared of how I would look to others coming home. I even thought of myself as a failure, but, walking for years benefits only me and my heart had other plans. Being back has been a constant roller coaster of emotions, lessons, difficulties and successes. It has been a huge wake up call to me. When I arrived in South America, I was beginning the process of living life without a sleep medication. For my entire life, I have struggled with sleep issues, anxiety and depression and most of the time the natural world will provide me with what I need in order to overcome those issues, not this time. The loss of sleep will mess anyone up and for me the battle of trying to force myself to sleep was just too much. I couldn't sleep and when I did it was for an hour or so, or in the middle of the day and that is not conducive to hiking. So, I missed my work with the Havasupai animals, my body was fighting itself and I decided to come home. I did learn through this that I have absolutely nothing to prove and that I only need to answer to myself. Another component in my decision was the fact that in many ways I was running away from an abusive relationship and from doing the work to begin the healing I was in need of. I had planned this hike long before him, before many of the issues that brought me great pain. But, there was still a strong sense of running away. I had lived my life in fear of him for many years so this trip was on some level a way to escape, little did I know that this trip would bring me right back to the place I said goodbye to. Little did I know that this trip would teach me so much in such a short time. Argentina is a beautiful country, but home for me is the Grand Canyon. I had to travel to the end of the world to figure that out and to figure out that my process of healing was only going to truly begin when I embraced what my heart felt and returned to the Grand Canyon.


The process of healing is a very complex process. I attend a women's group weekly now as I did before I left for Argentina. It is filled with other women who have endured abusive relationships and it has been a godsend to my own journey of healing. It is a place where I can go to feel understood. I know though that despite the best friendships, advice and connection that the journey of healing will be a lifelong one. Recently, one group member and I were talking about being lonely and how no matter what great progress happens in our lives, that there is a distinct feeling of loneliness in surviving and committing to ending an abusive relationship. That is definitely true, I have so many great people and experiences in my life but I also have a daily rewind of my life in which I was protecting a person who treated me like crap. I use to spend my days nervous to talk, scared to tell the truth about what was going on, scared he would get drunk and do something like strangle me again. I was always in a state of stress. After enough time it became my norm, it robbed me of who I was, of my happiness and personal strength. That relationship and that person made me into a zombie of who I wanted to be. He made me terrified to stand up for myself and his life became more important than mine. It has taken me so long to walk away from him, it has not been easy, but, I am a better person because I did. I am a happier person, I may not be at my strongest right now, but, I feel strong. For me, that is just as important as being strong. When, I think about other ways in which I am healing I so clearly see the days of Hayduke. I am humbled to have found him, to have rescued him and to have loved him. I may have helped get Hayduke out of hell, and I tried so hard to save him. It broke my heart to lose him. In the end though, I am reminded that our story was about two souls who saved one another. After he passed I went through a very dark time, I attempted suicide and spent many days in ICU, my heart just hurt so badly, his passing was sort of a last straw for me. I had been dealing with so much in my life for so long that I broke.
However, loving Hayduke did saved me, it opened my eyes to grace and magic to love and connection. It gave me the desire to want to help all the other animals and to remember to listen more than I talk. To embrace the magic of a horse's companionship and to listen to my heart, to listen to theirs. I can never repay Hayduke for what he brought to my life, the best thing I can do is live my life to its fullest and to try and help every person and animal that needs it. This sweet Hayduke will be my gift to you. Your courage and strength remains with me always sweet boy. The pain of losing him still stabs at my heart, but life is filled with pain, despite all of it, we must try to see the good and there is good, we must try to smile, to love, to kiss a horses nose at least once in your life and watch and see what good comes from it. Watch and see the amazing change it will bring to your life. We must try new things, make plans, change our minds, stand at the edge of the Grand Canyon and feel alive. We must remember what makes us each special and embrace what is in our hearts. I did not do my "big trip" in South America, that's true. I gave it up for some horses and a big hole in the earth. I gave it up for ME.  Many may say I am crazy to have done that, the Grand Canyon will always be there, etc, but for me its quite simple. My heart won, it chose horses and adventure in the Grand Canyon, it chose my own personal health and healing and who is to say that this choice won't end up being my "big trip." It is only in the confides of ones own brain and reasoning that limits and trivial successes exist. Healing takes courage, much more courage than it takes to hike in South America. For now, I am embracing my decision, though at times it is hard. I am taking care of myself, fighting for change for the animals in Supai, enjoying the Grand and open to whatever comes next. Hopefully it involves a horse :)

For the Love of a Horse- The Story of Hayduke and I

It was a extremely hot day down in Supai, a village located in the Grand Canyon, the home to the Havasupai Tribe. The sun was burning my skin, the heat was giving me a headache and as I walked pass a home; I saw him. A beautiful horse lying down in the dirt in the front yard, his legs stretched out, his body covered in sweat, he appeared lifeless, but, he was not :) As I looked a little further through the wire fence I saw that his hooves were in terrible shape, his hip bones protruding through his sweaty and dirty body, his ribs so visible he looked like a skeleton. His spirit gone, his heart weary and lonely and it was then that I knew, that horse was going to be mine. I was going to get him out of there, come hell or high water, that horse was mine. On this trip; I wasn't down there guiding, rather I was down there to gather information and pictures of the abuse that haunted the canyon, the abuse that became the reason I quit my job. I left Supai a day later, with the knowledge that getting him out of that place would take awhile, it might not happen at all and he might not make the hike out, but, I was going to try. After all, I promised him that I would get him out.

I was no stranger to Suapi, or the Tribe, up until the 4th of June; I was a guide, taking people down to camp at Havasu Falls. After finding out more information about the wrangler our company used to haul our camping gear up and down the canyon, I quit my job, no longer was I going to keep my mouth shut about the horrific animal abuse that took place in that canyon, no longer was I going to accept what all the other guides and people did, I was not going to accept the answer of that is just the way it is. NO, it was time to stand up, yell at the top of my lungs and tell everyone I knew about the truth of that deceptively beautiful place. I spoke to the media, created a page on FB to advocate for the animals and told everyone I knew. The attention began to grow and the pressure was felt by the Tribe. While all the attention was being brought to the abuse I worked everyday to get him out, every night, I dreamt of him. I was ready at anytime to go, hike down and get my horse, bring him out, take him to Flagstaff and rehab him, love him, and begin my journey with him. On July 26th, I was at Best Buy and I got the text, come get your horse, it was around 6pm. I packed my backpack with everything I would need for an 8 mile hike down to the village and a hike back out not knowing how long it was going to take. My heart was screaming in happiness, I was getting my horse, I was on my way to rescue him and man, that was an awesome feeling. Wade drove my car, I couldn't drive, I felt high, I was too excited to focus on driving the 3.5 hrs. We arrived at the Hilltop around 11:30pm and headed down the trail to Supai in the dark. We reached the village around 3am and were excited to get him around 630 am, but things did not happen the way I had hoped. When I arrived at the owner's house, my horse was gone, I was terrified that something had happened to him. I knocked on the door and was told that my horse and his owner had left the village hours ago.
I started running. I had not had anything to eat, nor had I slept and none of that mattered. All that mattered was that I needed to get to my horse. I had made a promise to save him and so I ran my heart out, crying, praying he would actually be at the Hilltop. I ran 8 miles up, arriving around 940am at the Hilltop, he was there, my heart relieved to see him. I met up with the owner, he had run him up the canyon, riding him for a mile and a half. I had to keep my cool though I wanted to smack him and yell at him for what he had done to my horse and so many others, but I knew I just needed to get my horse and paid him $250 like we had agreed on. I will never forget the second he took his lead rope off and walked off. There I was, in the hot sun, alone for the first time with my horse. MY HORSE!!!!! I was told by his owner he did not like people, but judging from the way he nuzzled right into me as I attached my lead rope to his old halter, I knew that wasn't true. I had a HORSE!! I was excited, nervous, scared, worried, tired, hungry, but, I was content and I could see relief in his eyes. Well, I had a HORSE now, so of course he needed a name. I named him Hayduke, in honor of Edward Abbey's writing and passion for the Southwest. So, now I had a HORSE and he had a name. We sat together at the Hilltop in the heat for almost 7 hours, his feet looked like paddles, his body like a skeleton, but I knew he was a fighter, I knew that he knew that I saved him and was going to get him out of there. We spent a few hours together hunkering down under the outhouse looking down into the canyon where he had been living, a place he was never going to see again. Hayduke was transported to Flagstaff and taken to a wonderful place, that first night in Flagstaff was filled with a ton of commotion and unknowns. I watched as the farrier trimmed his feet, as the first set of abscesses appeared in his feet. It was bad, his feet were in bad shape. I remember feeling like a zombie, so tired both emotionally and physically and worried beyond words about this amazing creature that I had rescued and instantly fallen in love with. The next day, Hayduke's first day in Flagstaff he ate and ate and ate and ate, and he seemed calm and happy. He seemed as though he felt safe. The Vet came out on his second day and gave him an exam, did blood work, etc. Again his feet were a concern and we began a daily process of soaking, medicating, wrapping his feet to help open and drain his abscesses. Hayduke moved from that first place to a ranch in Flagstaff where I spent hours everyday trying to heal his feet and allow him to eat as much as he wanted. He also received an excessive amount of love, he probably was so sick of the kisses and hugs, but he got him, everyday. His story began to touch others, so many were rooting for him. I became aware of how generous, kind and loving the horse community is as well as random people. I was nurturing this wonderful creature back to health. He ate and ate and somedays that is all he did :) he became my best friend so quickly and my love for him grew daily. I woke up everyday excited to drive out and spend my days with him, it was as though the rest of the world stopped and it was just Hayduke and I. He was gaining weight, getting some of his spunk back, but his feet, his feet were not improving. On August 15th the vet came out to the ranch, Hayduke had been lying down and I could tell his pain was immense. The vet opened a deep abscess that bleed like crazy, he preformed a series of X-rays and I could see it in the Vet's eyes that Hayduke was in trouble.
Hayduke was taken into the hospital that night and put on IV meds, had medical wraps on his feet and received medical care around the clock. I spent my days lying in his stall with him, most of the day, he would lie down next to me, put his head in my lap against my chest and just sit there. It was like magic, but, I knew in my heart that he was sick and that no amount of love was going to fix this. After four days in the hospital it became apparent on X-ray and by watching him that his pain was not going to be manageable, he was suffering and the abuse and neglect he had faced could not be reversed. It was time to say goodbye, time to allow him to rest and be at peace. I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a cold rainy day, I knew I had to say goodbye. The Vet told me that I did not have to stay, but, there was no way I was going to leave him alone. It was about 430 in the afternoon, I led Hayduke outside his stall and behind the office. The Vet explained how the process worked, I hated it, I was so angry and heartbroken, but I could not let him suffer any longer. The vet make a braid for me from Hayduke's tail and handed it to me. He gave Hayduke the first injection, in a few minutes it caused him to collapse to the ground, I remember screaming out, crying my brains out. I felt so sad, so hurt, so fucking mad, so fucking mad. Hayduke now laid on the ground, his beautiful body right in front of me. I went to his head, started loving on him, the second injection went in and he faded like he was going under for surgery. I told Hayduke that I loved him, that I was sorry. And then, the last one, the vet whispered a few seconds later, he has no heart beat. I wanted to throw up, I wanted to run down to Supai and yell at his former owner. I wanted my Hayduke back. I wanted his silky nose to nuzzle my face, I wanted a story with him. But in a matter of minutes that was all gone. I felt like I had failed him. I felt so broken so lonely. I had three weeks with Hayduke and in that short period of time, I feel like I had a lifetime. A lifetime filled with love, hope, smiles, life lessons and compassion, for what else is there in life?
Hayduke is now in my heart forever, that is where is was always meant to be. He taught me so much, much more than I ever expected to learn. He loved me and I loved him and though I wish he was still here, I know that my job in all of this was to get him out of suffering and to send him to heaven knowing love. I could have never prepared myself for what Hayduke brought to my life. Out of all of my adventures, this one truly changed me. I am humbled to have been a part of Hayduke's life. I am honored to have been there as his friend at the end. I am grateful to so many people- Scott and Terry Small, Kathy Oliver, Christine Griffin, Don and Marci Walters, Ruthann Penn, Dr Shane Dennis, Colleen and Dan Larrabee, ATGNIphotoworks, all my horsey friends on Facebook- too may to list, but thank you to everyone who donated, gave their advice, support, friended me to help, assisted Hayduke and I in anyway. Thank you for holding some of Hayduke in all of your hearts.

In loving memory of George W Hayduke, the horse from Supai

It is never really goodbye

My time in Arizona, in the USA is almost over. I am leaving on the 25th of November to fly to Ushuaia, Argentina to begin a five year solo trek that will end at the northern tip of Alaska. The last year of my life has been filled with so many stories, some really sad, really sad and others great. I have struggled with the decision to leave my life and walk for 5 years, but, after a lot of reflecting I came back to my desire to travel, walk and open my heart to the unknown, to new places, new people and to a life that will allow me adventure and the ability to create a once in a lifetime story for myself and for others. I plan to travel from the southern tip of South America to the northern tip of North America, by foot. I am selling almost everything I own, saying goodbye to all my friends and family. And preparing to embark on the biggest journey of my life.

Should I Stay or Should I Go??

I have failed to write since the new year, maybe it is because my life has seemed to be one challenge, one surprise and one puzzle after another. I feel like I have been on the constant move in my life, sometimes moving in positive directions and at other times moving in bad directions. Back in November after neurosurgery on my cervical spine I suffered a minor stroke and I was told by my physical therapists and occupational therapists that my active lifestyle was going to limited and was going to have to be changed. The first time I went rock climbing after the neurosurgery I could definitely feel the loss of strength on my right side, but, that only made me want to climb harder and more often , and today, 6.5 months later, I am climbing almost everyday, climbing hard, and my left side has become my dominant side. I have learned to deal with my increased clumsy gait and have started to just except that my memory isn't the best anymore, but, I am alive and in another 6.5 months, I will be heading out to hike from Argentina to Alaska something I have dreamt of for years. I have struggled within myself to except myself for who I am, for the obstacles I have overcome and for the changes that surgery has brought in my life. In addition to neurosurgery I have undergone vocal chord and heart surgery.

Surgery stresses the body and the mind and yes, I have had to silently deal with all of these stressors. I have also been able to look back on my life before all of the surgeries and after all of my thoughts settle, I am left feeling lucky and optimistic that life from here will just continue to be a grand adventure. I have learned so much from my patients at the hospital, they have taught me about love, compassion, courage and in many many ways made me a much better human. I have been guiding again in the Grand Canyon this season and it also brings me so much joy, it is a very rewarding thing to be apart of another person's adventure. So many great people have been apart of mine and to be able to be apart of so many other people's I am extremely humbled. I have developed some amazing friendships with people I hold dear to my heart. My life for the first time is starting to feel like its coming together. And then, my thoughts are redirected to my upcoming journey, a trip that will take me away from all of this and throw me into a 5 year life that is unknown and then I second guess myself, should I just stay in Flagstaff, or should I just get on that plane in November? It is by far my greatest struggle these days. Is n't that who I am, a great adventurer? A wanderer? A dreamer? Not only will I leave my life in Flagstaff for this journey, but I will say goodbye to my family- people that I love so very much and my heart does break that I will be leaving them as well. But, when I sit and think about selling everything I own, getting on a plane and hiking for 5 years, I get a smile that seems to inspire me, I feel a sense of pure freedom and adventure and for me that is what I want my life to be. I can't deny the pain of leaving and saying goodbye to all of those I love, but, if i don't go then I will forever feel like there is a hole, a dream that I was too scared to go for and I know despite anything else that I couldn't live with that. So for now, until my plane leaves the US I will be climbing, hiking in the Grand Canyon, writing, planning my journey, and trying to embrace the time I have with everyone in my life right now. So here is to adventure, family, friends, and big dreams :)

And, so goobye 2015!!

How do I begin, it is very hard to find the right words to reflect upon and write about 2015. It started out like a Christmas miracle, in Telluride, Colorado- a place very dear to my heart- It ended in multiple surgeries and various personal challenges and struggles. And to be honest, not on a very good note! I thru hiked the Hayduke Route this year, 900 miles off trail, canyoneering from Arches to Zion through the Grand Canyon along the Colorado Plateau. It was suppose to be a trip of a lifetime, in many ways it sure was, but in others it was filled with sadness and strife. It was filled with worry, loss, and even though I did complete it, I remember very few amazing moments. I guess a huge part of a successful long distance hike is who your partner is. I had never done a long distance hike with anyone and so for me, having the partner I did, truly killed some of that joy and pure bliss that my other long distance thru hikes had given me. I finished feeling sad because I had longed for this hike for years, spent years reading Edward Abbey and admiring his words and beliefs. When I began the Hayduke, I felt such a great honor to be hiking it, in the end- I wished I had not- or rather that I had done it at a different time, with a different person. When I finished my other thru hikes, I felt sadness at the end, but I also felt joy and I was at peace. I have hiked over 8,000 miles so far and believe me, my hiking days are far from over. One bad thru hike will not bitter my love for wild lands, and mother nature. I moved to Arizona after the Hayduke, to be near the Grand Canyon, a place so vast, so unbelievably amazing that only dreams can describe it's beauty and wonder- to me the GC is a place of magic-a place that humbles me each time I return to it. It is a very special place to me, it has taught me many lessons and has allowed for some of the best days in my life. Moving to Flagstaff, AZ allowed to me receive a job as a GC backpacking and hiking guide and to work at a Trauma 1 Center as a Mental Health Tech. Both jobs gave me the chance to do what I love to do- help people and spread my passion for the wonders of the outdoors. But, Flagstaff has also taken me away from Colorado, a place I called home for the last 15 years, a place where all my friends are and where I thought I was always meant to be. I always considered myself a mountain chick, but I am making the transition into a canyon/desert chick :)

As everyone knows relationships are hard. And I don't have enough energy or desire to write about my relationship with that guy, it is simply too painful and so in the interest of saving myself more pain and hurt, I will say this. I loved a guy, who turned out to be someone I don't love. I have taken a stand and will not allow any more abuse or hurt from him. I am sad by this and I am filled with regret, but in a few hours this year will be over and it will be time for new trails, new adventures, new lessons, AND in less than 11 months, I will be on a plane headed to South America to begin a 5 year solo trek across the Americas- www.facebook.com/journeyacrosstheamericas- I am also considering a GC thru hike from March to May, so I have things to look forward to :) Though my heart is broken, I hope in time I will be able to make peace with this person.

In November, I went through neurosurgery on my cervical spine, suffered a mini stroke, had to use a walker and still continue to go to OT and PT, my vocal chord was paralyzed during that surgery and I recently had surgery on them-and on January 22nd I will have heart surgery to close the hole in my heart. I guess I am getting the deluxe tune up :) My body has been through a lot in regards to my health, but I have only been reinforced on how strong I really am. How even when things are at the worse- there is always something great! My patients at the hospital have been a reminder of resiliency, love, courage and strength, so for all of my patients thank you- my clients who have been on GC trips with me have shown me joy and happiness and that means so very much to me that I can be apart of their adventure. My parents as always have been by my side every step of the way- they are generous, loving, brilliant people who inspire me to be a better person- the rest of my family has given me so much love this year and I am extremely grateful for my family. My friends have given me advice, been there to support me and make me laugh- so thank you to all of my friends- and though my sweet Nanuk dog isn't here anymore, she has given me strength and at my darkest moments her memory has brought me joy and put a smile on my face, so to Nanuk for being there for me even though she passed away almost 2 years ago!! I am sure, I could write a lot more, but for now that's all I have. Happy NEW YEAR Everyone- thanks for being a apart of my adventure this year.

 

The Hayduke Story

It was March 8th 2015, Wade and I were our way to begin our thru hike on the Hayduke Route, our packs were full, we were ready, however, we had no idea what was truly coming our way out there, we were eager and excited though to begin our journey. After a 45 minute car ride from Moab we reached the Arches National Park boundary, this was the beginning of our hike on the Hayduke. We got of the car thanked Mike for giving us a ride, put our packs on and headed down the road into Arches. Just like that we went from being "normal people," to thru hikers on the Hayduke. I am no stranger to the life of a thru hike, in fact I prefer it to "normal, everyday life," but for Wade this was his first thru hike and I could see the excitement and nervousness for leaving everyday life behind in his eyes. For the next 3 months the desert would become our home, our teacher, at times our enemy, but it also became our joy and passion. It became a world in which we both grew whether it was from deep struggle and challenge or simple beauty, it allowed us to grow as people and to gain a stronger appreciation for the natural world and all of it wonders.
The Hayduke is a tribute of sorts to Edward Abbey, a man that could write poetically and beautifully, and yes, he was an asshole at times, but his love for the desert lands was contagious and his books are among my favorite. I understand his words and his message, so there we went down dirt roads in Arches where Edward Abbey was a ranger for a few seasons, we ended up in Courthouse Wash, quickly learning that there was no keeping our feet dry, that we would haver to walk in the water and quicksand and through whatever we could to make it through the wash and that is what we did. We camped that night in Courthouse Wash, our first night out :) so pumped!! The next day we finished our hike through Courthouse Wash and found ourselves in Moab, we spent the night and walked out of town and up towards Hurrah Pass the next day. Now it was really beginning, the desert was waiting for us and the realization of what we were doing had started to kick in. From the summit of Hurrah Pass we headed towards Canyonlands NP, around 89 miles from the beginning and that was also where our first food and water cache was. A lot of this land was 4X4 roads, or cow land, in Lockhart Basin we  found 5 cow carcasses that were in fact contaminating our water sources, we enjoyed a bath in Indian Creek and the views night after night and day after day were breath taking. The air was warm during the day, but the winter temps seemed to linger at night. We got lost trying to find our first cache near big springs TH, eventually realizing we were on the wrong road (silly us) it was a huge relief when we did find our cache!!
From that cache we headed through Canyonlands and into Butler Wash, a place that seemed to never see people, a place that seemed far removed and lonely, the walls were all around us trapping us down in the wash, making one feel so small and humbled. Climbing out of there allowed us to see an amazing view of the needles just as the sun was going down, the orange glow lit up the sky. Onwards we hiked toward Fable Valley, Youngs canyon, Dark canyon, these canyons were off the wall awesome, they had pools in them that seemed as though they were part of an aquarium, beautiful beyond belief, when we got near the Sundance trail there were people camped everywhere, so we decided to take 6 liters of water and hike up the Sundance trail- 1,200 feet in the dark, it was exhausting, but fun, something about scrambling at night with the moon lighting the way that makes me happy :) The following day we hiked all the roads which finally brought us out near Hite Marina. We could see the Henry Mountains not too far off, that was where we were headed in the next few days, up over Mt. Ellen and towards Capitol Reef NP. We hitched into Hanksville from there because I was becoming very sick with Crohns and needed a break. From there we went up into the Red benches and then down Fiddlers Cove to the Dirty Devil River, 5 miles of walking in this river and in quicksand and then finally enjoying a great spring because we had been carrying water for 27 miles.
Again we reached the highway after miles of roads and washes and it was now time to head up in the Henry Mountains, we got misplaced trying to find our way initially but soon we were gaining elevation and leaving the desert for mountains, a few miles up the road and all of a sudden we were post holing, for miles and miles this went on. We camped at the pass below Mt. Ellen and summited the next day, again snow and post holing, but once on the ridge the hiking became easier. How strange it is to be standing on top of a snow covered peak looking down 1000s of feet and only seeing desert, what a contrast it was. What a site it was.
By now we were a little over 150 miles into our trip, we were moving a lot slower than we thought, I was sick and my disease was really beginning to effect me. But I was not quitting. It is hard to remember day by day and all of the canyons we hiked through. We hiked in Tarantula Mesa, sadly I did not see one tarantula :( we hiked through canyons that looked like castles and kingdoms and no words can ever explain their beauty. We got lost for 4 hours one day before Capitol Reef NP and spent the day just trying to find our way, we were only using a map and compass, no GPS. We agreed to do this hike the pure, old school way, map and compass even if we got misplaced sometimes. We did get lost, but we did end of making it to the Burr Trail and into Capitol Reef NP where our second cache was :) our walk up the Burr Trail was spectacular, the colors of the rock against the sky was overwhelming, I must of taken 30 pics just on that 2 mile section. Ok, so now we are in Capitol Reef, what is next? Oh, yes, Lower Mulley Twist Canyon, up the red slide to Middle Moody Canyon and then.... the 26 mile hike in the water in the Escalante River. Yes, in the water up to our waists and bushwhacking on the beaches when the water was too deep, only to be thrown back out into the river by the brush at any given moment, poison ivy bordered many sections of the River, so we constantly had to watch where we stepped and pay attention to how the river twisted and turned and where and how how navigate this river without trouble. It was quite fun, but after 2.5 days of walking in a river I was over it.
Getting out of the Escalante River and heading up Coyote Gulch was quite a shock. In 7 or so miles I counted 52 tents, the smell of brand new gear and fresh showered people smelled awful to us, it was like a city park out there, so we blasted through Coyote Gulch, Hurricane Wash and got to our next cache which was on the Hole in the Rock Road, our shoes were covered with holes, so we decided to hitch into the town of Escalante to get new shoes, well, they did not have any shoes, so we fixed our shoes with super glue and headed back to the Hayduke. Leaving the Hole in the Rock road we hiked up 40 mile and along came Monday canyon, which was a bouldering puzzle, boulder after boulder for hours, then Rees Canyon and Rogers Canyons, all of which were difficult in their own ways. All of which were spectacular in their own ways as well.