Heartbroken at mile 1018

I made it to Bridgeport, mile 1018, and I decided that I needed to go back home to Colorado for a few days. It has been a hard lesson to learn that out on the Trail, life at home happens no matter what your facing on the Trail, and you can't ignore life, even when it hurts more than you believe you can handle. I guess I have also learned that even when you want to be anywhere else than alone inside of your own heart and head, you have to stay in it, you have to allow even the worse of feelings to run their course and no matter how uncompfortable it may be, you can't run away from them.
The last miles of the Trail have been just as daunting as the last few weeks have been. There is still very much snow even down low, the rivers and creeks are still raging and the Trail in most places is still lost or covered in snow and water. Days are spent searching for the Trail and trying to push miles so I can feel as though I am making progress towards going north. I have fallen through the snow and ended up chest deep in a waterfall, one night at camp in the middle of the night my campsite got flooded; I had to move up onto a snow bank for the rest of the night, I have had to hike 1 or 2 miles up and down creeks to find a crossing and even when I do it is still very high water and fast, I have bush wacked miles and miles praying that I was going the correct way, there was one section where the Trail was covered by a snow mound about 200 feet long and 2 inches wide and I had to crawl across, hoping I would not fall into the raging river 5 feet below me. I have seen the best of the Sierras and their power is ever so real.
I have been struggling with being away from home, and I realized going back to Colorado that I was so homesick and lonely because I have such great people in my life. I had to go home to regain my desire to keep going and I had to face why I felt so sad and heartbroken. I have loved him for so long and the thought of losing him, was too much to bear, so I hitch hiked 120 miles from Bridgeport to Reno, got on a flight, ended up in Denver and faced the life I left behind in April. I came to find out that things will be okay in time and that love is fragile. I am now back in Reno, and I am heading out to the Trail tonight, to hike north, to Canada. I can't deny the fact that I hurt so badly inside right now, but maybe the rest of my hike will allow me to grow, allow me to experience what I need, and I trust that the remainder of my hike will bring good things. As for love, well, I think we are going to be okay.

1642 miles left, I hope to be in Canada by the middle of October.